taking a nap is always so risky like when will I wake up? in thirty minutes? in 2 hours? in 7 years?? no one can be sure
"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."John Burroughs (via stxxz)
- Satan: [appears]
- Satan: You can have anything you wan--
- Me: LANGUAGE.
- Satan: What?
- Me: GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE.
- Satan: What the--?
- Me: YOU SAID ANYTHING. GIVE ME EVERY LANGUAGE IN THE WORLD.
- Satan: Wouldn't you rather have love or money?
- Me: EVERY. LANGUAGE. MASTERY OF EVERY LANGUAGE. NOW.
- Me when my kid is crying: Don’t cry for me, Argentinaaaaaaaaaaa….
- Me when my kids are helping me clean: IT’S THE HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR US
- Me eating breakfast with my kids: The other one’s still the toast of the town ‘cause he made butter outta cream…
- Me playing hide and go seek with my kids: SO IF YOU CARE TO FIND ME, LOOOOOK TO THE WESTERN SKY!!
- Me waking my kids up in the morning: Maybe we can frighten away the ghost of so many years with a little ILLUMINATION *flicks on lights*
- Me when my kid has a crush: SHE’S IN LOOOOOOVEEEEEEE, SHE’S IN LOOOOOOOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!
- Me when my kid tries to run away: THEREEEEE, OUT IN THE DARKNESSSSSS… A FUGITIVE RUNNINGGGG…
- Me giving my kids advice: If you only follow your heart…
- Me when my kid gets their first boyfriend/girlfriend: OMIGOD OMIGOD YOU GUYS
- Me when my kids are mad at me: TAKE ME BAAAABBBYYYYYYY, OR LEAVE MEEEEEEEE
- Me giving my kids ‘the talk’: Once there was a night, beneath a moonless sky…
- Me when my kids start driving: GOOOOOO GREASE LIGHTNING YOU BURNING UP THE QUARTER MILEEEEEEE
- Me when my kids go off to college: Empty chairs and empty tables, where my friends will meet no more…
"Never apologize for burning too brightly or collapsing into yourself every night. That is how galaxies are made."Tyler Kent White (via allwereallyneedisweed)
girls dont want boys they want tickets to broadway shows before they close
- orchestra: plays first chord.
- me: sobbing
GUYS BUT IMAGINE THEATRE IN THE WIZARDING WORLD
A WITCH STANDING IN THE WINGS CASTING A TRANSFIGURATION CHARM ON THE PUMPKIN
ANIMAGI ACTORS PLAYING IN THE LION KING SO THERE ARE ACTUAL LIONS ONSTAGE
ALADDIN’S FLYING CARPET ACTUALLY FLYING
ELPHABA GETTING ON A REAL BROOM AND FLYING AROUND THE THEATRE SINGING DEFYING GRAVITY
THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS
OH MY GOD YES!!!!!
"Always do what you are afraid to do."Ralph Waldo Emerson (via kushandwizdom)